Paper Dream - oneshot
by rubie
Summary: Celena's thoughts during her change to Dilandau. Her wishes turn into reality for moments of happiness...


Inspired by the short story, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge by Ambrose Bierce. Its a  
great story! Read it!  
  
playing with points of view. This was a weird experiment.... ^^; I'm not quite sure how it  
came out.... ahaha... I posted the wrong draft on the mailing list.. urggg! I gotta start  
deleting my old drafts... those who read it there.. um.. there's isn't too much difference.  
  
Oo.. about Fingers to See (reply to sky mage-san's review), humm.. I didn't really think  
about Colors of the Wind when I wrote it, although when you mentioned it, I reread their  
lyics and read the story.... they do have similarities ^^... humm... its a cool song and it  
really suits the idea of the movie. Its also about time we figured out that perhaps trees  
don't grow the way Americans drug chickens with hormone. But considering that we can  
conpare conservation with money... ahaha... And it was the first disney movie since a  
long time to have a sad ending. Like the hunchback... must they make everything happy?  
The original ending was the hunchback killed the lady's lover and the lady died and  
everyone was unhappy (MUHAHAHA!!!)... disney brainwashes people!!! uh... I'm  
getting off track..... ^^;;;   
  
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Paper Dream  
by Rubie aka Jenn  
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The room was dim. It was hard to see anything from the metal framed halls and the wire  
lined floors. But it was still grand; the tall ceilings and the elaborate arrangement of the  
silver tiled floors seemed to exaggerate the magnitude of the room. There were no  
windows to release light, with the exception of a large overhead glass. But that was dim  
as well, and the little light that did filter through was twisted and scattered throughout the  
room. An odd scraping noise was audible; each time it groaned, a thin stream of smoke  
fluttered from it. The air was heavy, like the discomfort of a night before a storm. The  
men took no notice of this, however. Five of them were standing close to the east wall,  
observing the wires with painful attention. They whispered among themselves  
occasionally and scribbled notes.  
  
A strangely out of place column of light fluttered from the ceiling and rested on an  
elevated area in the center of the impossibly large room. The source of that light was  
unseen, but it was obvious that the bright glow did not come from the sun. The elevated  
position was small, and it only had one flight of stairs to reach it. The sides were not  
walled off; anyone who tread carelessly would fall several feet to the ground. A little girl  
stood on it; her shoulders slumped, her eyes unseeing. She was young, couldn't possibly  
be more than five or six years of age. Her hair was a pale gold and her eyes were the color  
of a stormy sea. Her frame was fail and pallid, as if she disliked eating and playing under  
the sun. At the first glance, one might think that she was a doll, painted with painful  
attention to detail. But then she trembled violently, as if something discomforting had just  
invaded her senses. Her eyes were fixed the wire mesh under her feet, unheeding of the  
soft whispers from across the large hall.  
  
The groans and bursts of steam from the contraption was becoming slower. It jabbed at  
her senses, and her body seemed to groan with it each time. The periods of eerie stillness  
was disconcerting. Only the voices of those men could be heard, and she didn't want to  
hear them. She wanted to hear the musical voices of the machine. She wanted to hear it!  
Why was it so slow? The silence was deafening.  
  
Then a man departed from the group of sorcerers and approached the little girl. She paid  
him no attention, even as he placed his hand on her shoulder. From the shadows, he  
retrieved an odd arrangement of wires and metal. It was a table, framed with straps and  
buckles. He picked up the girl, and she let him without a struggle. She examined the  
contraption with her eyes warily.  
  
If he could turn around and let me go, I could run now, she thought. I could bolt down the  
hall and hide in the shadows and wait until all those men run for the door and call the  
guards. Then I could look for a small opening, and flee.  
  
But where could she go? She didn't even know exactly where she was. All she knew was  
that she wasn't home anymore. She wasn't in Asturia. How far away her mother and  
brother was, she had no idea.  
  
It was useless, she knew. She tried it before once. But it wasn't in a hall quite as big. It  
was a small room, before they cut her hair, before Jajuka came. They had left her in a  
room, and before they closed the door, she bolted and dodged the perusers. She ran  
through a corridor, into a room, into another, and yet another, and yet another, until she  
ran unto a chamber lined with windows, the first she had seen in several days. It was  
already night, but several tall trees prevented any moonlight from fluttering through. And  
there, she saw a man on a table. He had unruly long hair that was cropped at his  
shoulders, but she could not tell what color it was. His eyes were closed and his body was  
unmoving. At first, she thought he was dead, and she feared him. Then she noticed the  
steady rise and fall of the blankets covering his chest. She became curious. She wanted to  
talk to him. He looked so kind. She wasn't afraid him, even though she felt that she  
should. She tired to wake him, but he only groaned and turned. The blankets pulled away  
from his right arm, and she realized in shock that it was a claw. He was a monster! She  
screamed and ran then. She didn't want to be alone.  
  
But now, being left alone didn't seem bad at all.  
  
The man forced her on the table. She complied. The buckles slipped on smoothly, and he  
left shorly after.  
  
What were they going to do to her now? she wondered idly. Where they going to inject  
fluids into her body and observe how it rages against it? Or maybe they would insert cold  
clips on her neck, and watch her scream and pout for hours. Or would they simply remove  
blood samples, and then leave her alone. She hoped so. Blood samples were okay. Jajuka  
always gave her some snacks afterwards. Maybe she could convince them to use her wrist  
this time. Her arms were getting sore.  
  
But Jajuka was really upset this time. She dimly wondered why he put up such a fight.  
She hoped that he would be all right. It was the first time she saw them using the large  
machine. She wondered dimly what it would be like. She should be afraid, but they did  
things to her so often, she wasn't even afraid anymore. It was just getting annoying.  
  
Whispers.  
  
She was beginning to get sick of this. Just hurry up and be through with it.  
  
More whispers.  
  
"Fate Alternation, begin."  
  
***  
  
"Hey, little girl."  
  
Celena Schezar looked up in surprise. The sun was bright on the grassy field, and the man  
cast a shadow on her. He had a full frame of one who was in his prime, and his voice  
reflected it. But she could not see the man's face clearly.  
  
"What are you doing?" the man asked.   
  
His face was not visible, but his voice sounded kind. Celena smiled at him brightly.  
  
"I'm hiding from by brother," she said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"So that he can find me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I want him to look for me."  
  
The man laughed, a deep throaty laugh that came from the heart. "You're very clever,  
little girl."  
  
Celena beamed at him. "Really?"  
  
"Of course. The more he has to look for you, the more he'll want to see you. But the less  
he sees you, then he'll hold you more dear to the heart and love you. Lets make your  
brother love you so much that he can't bear to let you out of his sight again."  
  
***  
  
Her body was screaming. It hurts! The light burned! It never use to hurt this much. Her  
mind seemed to be rejecting her, and it seemed to force her out of this skin. She fought  
against it, clutching at her lose lab shirt. Her body was convulsing. She could feel it the  
way the thumps sounded against her ears. Her neck made an odd snapping noise, and her  
head struck the table several times. She let a shriek escape from her lips and struggled  
against the binds.  
  
It hurts!  
  
Then there was a irregular snap. But her mind was too focused on fighting the invader in  
her body to take any notice. She jerked and strained against her binds; she twisted on the  
cold surface of the table. She dimly noticed how the table pulled away from her, and the  
floor flew up to hit her in the face. She screamed angrily and rolled on the artificial floors.  
Her arms reached up to grip her face, and they pulled at her hair.  
  
As suddenly as it came, it was gone. The pain was gone. Celena realized that her hands  
were free, and she was lying in the shadows, a short distance from the pillar of light. The  
buckles had broken lose. There were voices in the room, and a shuffling of feet close to  
her betrayed the sorcerers. They were approaching quickly from the only passage way  
between their place at the wall and her pillar of light. Without waiting, she bolted from  
her position behind the operating table. But the light was dim, and her foot caught  
something she couldn't make out. She joined roughly with the metal floor yet again, and  
the momentum propelled her to the edge of her unsteady ground. Then she suddenly  
realized that she was no longer falling forward, but downward. She shrieked again, and  
covered her face with her hands.  
  
She was going to die. She didn't want to die. She didn't. She didn't!  
  
The floor struck her side hard, and she exhaled forcefully. Lightning seared through her  
body. For several moments, she laid there and breathed deeply the humid and sickening  
air of the room. Her limbs were numb. She couldn't feel them. She must be dead. But it  
was better than lying under that light, her body raging and tearing. It was better not to feel  
anything at all.  
  
But her brother must be sad. She wondered if he missed her. He must be still searching  
for her right now. She wished she could see him, and she was sure he would never bear to  
let her leave his sight ever again.  
  
If only she could see him again...  
  
Voices.  
  
People were approaching. Those sorcerers... she groaned. They wouldn't leave her alone  
even though she was dead. They're so annoying. Why couldn't they just leave her alone!  
Then she realized in surprise that she could move her arms, her legs. She could touch her  
face. She wasn't hurt. She may be sore here and there, but she was all right. But the  
sorcerers thought she was dead. They paused a short distance from her and were  
whispering among themselves. Then one of them moved towards her. Celena stiffened  
and she considered running. But there wasn't anywhere to go, and there was no doubt  
they would be able catch her. Maybe she could pretend that she was dead, and they would  
leave her for a while. But the sorcerer passed her, and she could hear his footsteps  
echoing in the colossal room. It tapped steadily for a long time, and she laid there,  
listening to it. It was like a clock she realized, ticking away. And it was comforting for  
some strange reason.  
  
A creak, then voices.  
  
The sorcerer must be calling in the guards, she realized. They need to remove her body.   
  
Celena grinned; the sorcerer was approaching her again, and he didn't even bother to  
close the door. She had a chance. But should she? She didn't know where she was. She  
didn't know how to get home. She had no idea where her brother could be. She wanted to  
go home... she wanted to go home... But there was no way she could.  
  
She attempted moving again, and gasped. It seemed that every time she moved, her side  
burned.  
  
Silence.  
  
"She's alive!"  
  
"Get her!"  
  
"Wh--"  
  
"--ve---"  
  
"--th--"  
  
Voices blended together in a strange frenzy, and she dragged herself to her feet. Her body  
was in flames, but she ignored it. She sprinted towards the opened door, the sorcerers  
close behind. She couldn't outrun them. She understood this long ago. There were items  
arranged haphazardly in the large hall. How could she use this? Her mind raced. As she  
passed a stack of metal tiles, she stopped abruptly. The sorcerers were slower than the  
guards, she noticed in satisfaction. They were in very poor shape. As they approached,  
she dug her shoulder in the metal and it creaked and strained. Then with a loud groan;  
they collapsed. She didn't stay to see what commotion it produced. Instead, she pumped  
her limbs harder, ignoring the incessant pain in her back. She bolted through the door and  
stumbled into the artificially lit hall. Without pausing, she chose a random direction and  
followed it. When she rounded a corner, she stopped. Where was she?  
  
The hallway was narrow, but bright. It was hard to tell day from night in this place.  
Countless doors lined the walls, and for a moment, she felt dizzy. Why did she run? Now  
what could she do? Her body seemed to flee at its own whim. She had not willed it, but  
she feared going back. She only tired running once, and they had yelled at her for hours  
after that. But that was her first day, and Jajuka told her that they were being kind. But  
now, she had deliberately damaged their machinery and hurt several sorcerers. What  
would her punishment be now?  
  
She didn't want to die. She didn't. She didn't! She still wanted to be alive to see her  
brother. She wanted to see Jajuka. Where was he? Where was everybody?  
  
Voices, coming from the corner. Instinctively, she ran the other direction. Her legs  
seemed to move at their own will. She dimly wondered where she was going.  
  
Groans.  
  
People were following her! There were people... something... something was following  
her.  
  
Whispers.  
  
She ran faster.  
  
She couldn't stop. She couldn't think. She could only run. The world was a blur and she  
arbitrarily picked doors and passageways. There was a ringing in her ears and voices in  
her head. She didn't understand them, nor did she pay any attention. Were there people in  
these rooms? She didn't know. If there were, they obviously didn't notice or didn't see  
her. But the voices seemed to follow her everywhere. The impossibly bright lights were  
growing brighter. They streaked past her, and she had forgotten how many she had  
passed. She could no longer feel the ground beneath her feet, and her breath was coming  
painfully. The air was humid and heavily. She couldn't breathe. She needed to breathe!  
Her chest expanded convulsively, her eyes could no longer focus. She had to stop  
running.   
  
Finally, she threw herself out one more door and stopped. She gasped for her through her  
mouth. But it wasn't enough. She needed more. Her lungs were howling. Her limps  
burned. It felt so much better running aimlessly. Maybe she should run again... but she  
was so tired.... Her eyes hurt, it was too bright. It was brighter than those shockingly  
white halls.  
  
A song.  
  
What?  
  
A bird song.  
  
When was the last time she heard a bird sing? She couldn't remember. She didn't  
remember there being any birds in the place she was. Slowly, she looked up. This must be  
a dream. She must be dreaming.  
  
Flowers.  
  
Birds.  
  
An endless sea of grass... a grassland so large that she couldn't tell where it ended.  
  
A light.  
  
A light so bright that it burned her eyes.  
  
She was outside! In that random running through the corridors and rooms, she had  
somehow found her way outside. Celena laughed. It felt good laughing. When was the  
last time she laughed? She didn't remember. She didn't care. She was free.  
  
For a moment, all she could do was stare at the petals dancing in the wind and the birds  
flying overhead. They sang in chorus, seemingly celebrating her newfound freedom. They  
were swimming in the air, first soaring high, dropping low, then brushing past her so  
close that she could reach out and stroke it. But she didn't. That would shatter that  
delicate beauty.  
  
Then she turned in circles and laughed and cried and screamed. She couldn't tell exactly  
what she was doing. But it felt good. She felt good. She felt happy. So she cried at  
laughed. And as the world spun around her in circles, she suddenly noticed a flutter of  
golden hair. It was a boy, running towards her. She stopped at examined him carefully.   
  
"Celena!"  
  
Her mind burned in recognition. It was her brother. Her brother was here the entire time.  
She didn't have to worry about not finding her way home. He was here. He was always  
here! She laughed again and ran towards him. The petals fluttered past her and the birds  
sang. The grasslands danced with the eternal winds. And for a moment, everything  
seemed perfect.  
  
And just as she was about spring into her brother's arms, lightning ripped through her  
side and branched out into her limps. Her back snapped back and she could hear a  
sickening crack. Something twisted at her heart and howled in her mind. It was attacking  
her. She couldn't control her body. She could barely contain a scream before darkness  
invaded her senses, and there was silence.  
  
***  
  
The body suddenly stopped jerking and collapsed onto the silver table, limp and lifeless.  
The head rolled to one side, and a boy's face came into view. His oddly pale hair clung to  
his face with the moisture on his body, and his eyes were open. The crimson orbs stared  
unseeing in the distance, his lips locked into an eerie smile.  
  
  
End  
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Originally.. this was gonna be named Fog... I changed it last minute. Fog usually implies  
that it looks substantial from a distance, but once you approach it, it's weak and unreal.  
humm.... I guess it kinda works. But it sounded awfully short..... Paper Dream sounds  
familar.. where did I hear it? urggg... I hope it wasn't someone elses' fic title. umm... if  
you know, please tell me, and gomennasi if it is ^^;; Since the last post in the ML, the  
title was Paper Dreams... umm.. the "s" was removed since there really was only 1  
dream... ^^;  
  
Celena seemed out of character for being so assertive.. humm.. but she had very little  
oncamera time so it was hard to say.  
  
the archive is lagging yet again. Now that Crash and Burn is out of the way... hopefully  
that'll receive more updates. ^_^;;; all those authors I emailed are no doubt getting  
impatient. gomennasi! I'll post them as soon as I can! 


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